So maybe I don't know the rules of Networking. Are there any? As far as I have been aware Networking was something that you took advantage of at anytime, any day, when the opportunity arises to self promote, and offer your skills up on a platter for someone pending their interest. However, I did not know that the platter would be me.
I went out on my first meet and greet as a coffee/lunch event at a local restaurant. I was busy trying to gauge if there was a niche that the person need filled or if they were open to looking for more writers on projects. I missed the whole fact initially that the person would never answer my questions about their profession, and kept diverting attention to other inane subjects. If I approached his work again, he would get a far off dazed look and dismiss it with a clever platitude. "It is what it is", and so on.
About half way through, I discovered I was on a date.
The next time this happened, I was clearly approached by this person. They contacted me via Facebook in response to a posting about my belly dancing schedule. They mentioned that they had an opportunity in a production that they were working on. We were to meet that week for lunch. When a time and place was agreed upon, I shut off the computer and went to bed. I woke up to find a rambling email about it being a date. I thought, what? What the hell? A date. I don't date. It was a pleasant enough situation with only a few moments actually spent talking business. The business part was also so far up in the air that it was a long long long shot that if it ever took off, there would even be a place for me. But for some reason the date part continued.Halfway through I knew no business would come from this, but it saddens me that I can't seem to avoid this turning of a meet and greet for business purposes into a date. So what steps should I logically take to avoid further scenarios such as this?
The first thing I thought of was not using Facebook as a way to network. Honestly though, I have made most of my connections through FB and done well so far with it. Its such a great venue for getting my writing out to the masses. The second thing, make my "this is a business meeting" dialogue clear. Which I do, and I even dress way down for the meeting. Third, meet at public places only during the day. Both the aforementioned events were in broad daylight in busy crowded places where no funny business could be had and intentions misconstrued.
So what went wrong?
Oh yeah, they are men and I am a girl. A not altogether bad looking chic to most with eyes. My bad.
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It seems to me that, once again, the line is drawn between the pretty girl and the working girl. I personally believe that great looks prompts most men to just want the "kudos" to have spent time, i.e. be seen with a pretty girl. It really is on them not men are unable to disconnect their "other" brain when someone is seriously looking for opportunities to work. Which is why they are probably ALONE ---- Don't give up the ship.
ReplyDeletePerhaps asking them to provide you with business related topics for discussion at the meeting, written from them, and you have your responses to those topics, then get right to it when meeting. Also state a time limit. If he won't stay on topic then you know where he is coming from, and you can say that you have another meeting to attend. If all goes well you can always step away and make a phone call to reschedule your other appointment.
Another thing (and you know I'm far from an expert here) is to keep the conversation focused on the opportunity being offered, somehow. You can exchange pleasantries, and be polite, but avoid personal stuff, even if he talks about it. It sort of sends a signal that this is a business meeting, not a date. You may just want to make it clear--by spelling it out specifically--that this is for business. Hell, write some questions down on a steno pad and take notes, too. Only a complete idiot would see that and think it was a date. Of course you and I both seem to be beacons for idiots . . .
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